Date:
03.29.10
Author:
Sam
Title:
Problems and Solutions
In this life that we live, there are problems, and solutions. Homer Simpson once cited alcohol as the “cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems”; I would say the same is true for a number of other things, including ice-cream, sex, and politics.
However, if you are one of those whose very existence revolves primarily around shimming your way to the top of modest sized pieces of stone, then your connotation of the word “problem” is most likely climbing oriented. If that sounds like you, then there is but one solution: La Sportiva SOLUTION Climbing Shoe– cram your little footsies into a pair of these, fight back the tears, and feel the superiority of this shoe overtake your being.
Climbing in the SOLUTION guarantees the following:
-ALL boulder problems will become doable
-Your projects will immediately be added to your tick list (you don’t even need to send them!)
-You will be able to campus EVERYTHING (ironically, you will only be able to do this when wearing the SOLUTIONS)
-Your 8a.nu scorecard will update itself’! You may even see some problems on there you’ve never heard of!
-People will have a new found respect for you as a person.
-Children will be scared of you
-All dogs will love you (this happens only after the shoe has been broken in and begins to develop that synthetic stench)
-You will be about ten times more attractive to the opposite sex (X12 if you live in Boulder)
-Daniel Woods will want to be your boyfriend (regardless of your present gender)
We also brought in a new approach shoe:
Get some Solutions, or live the rest of you life in mediocrity,
SB
